When “Productivity” Starts Killing Your Mojo, You May Be Doing a Little Much

As I lay on top of my husband trying to get in the mood, I just wasn’t feeling it. I mean I was, but I wasn’t. It had been a while and admittedly, some sexy time was necessary.

But I was tired, not that it mattered. I had a ton of sh*t to do.

Let’s see… the dishes needed to be washed, laundry was piling up in the closet where I’d shamefully shoved it when we had guests over the weekend before who would need to access the patio via our bedroom. Ugh.

There were chicken bones under the bed that I’m sure our dog thought he’d tastefully concealed. Not so much. I’d just been too exhausted to shimmy under there to retrieve his beloved collection.

Oh, and don’t get me started on the bathroom! Our tub was turning into a swamp, but I’d been living in a blissful state of [false] ignorance in making sure our pretty shower curtain was permanently pulled wall to wall. You may be judging us by now. That’s fine. I’m judging us, too. Wagging my finger as we speak.

And on top of all that, I needed to do something to further my goals, right? A day without accomplishing at least one thing to get me closer to my career goals was a day wasted as far as I was concerned.

After downloading all the madness in my head (while he may as well have been in a Jodeci video the way he was trying to get things started, poor guy) I could only come to one conclusion.

Sex was a complete waste of time and I had NO time to waste. In that moment, I muttered four words.

“This is so unproductive.”

You can imagine the look on hubby’s face. It went something like, Err???

I believe I then followed up with, “Are we trying for a baby, because otherwise this is unproductive and I need to be doing something else!”

BUUZZZ KIIILLL!!! Well, I think so looking back. Hubs on the other hand is weirdly turned on by the thought of creating a baby. Not the prerequisite action, but the actual creation of a fetus.

I digress.

My point is that I was stressed. I was stressing and overthinking to the point of turning into a freakin’ robot.

Let’s get one thing straight. We don’t always have to be productive, especially in the typical definition where we abide by strict terms of return-on-investment in everything we do. (e.g. Let’s get it onnn… but only if it leads to popping out a baby… otherwise, I got things to do.)

That’s an extremely limiting and draining way to live.

Some of you ladies are probably thinking, Pshhh, I don’t know what’s wrong with this girl. I never do that.

When’s the last time you ate a meal with your family or friends with no distractions (no phones allowed)? Do you annoy your nail tech or hair stylist trying to answer emails in the chair? Are you prone to working on vacation? How many “working lunches” do you take where you either half-ass your work, your lunch or both, and end up with your lunch all over your work? Why don’t you call your Mema?

My bad, that last one’s for me. But you get the point.

More and more of us are sacrificing real experiences and connections for the sake of productivity. Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with furthering your career. I’m just saying there should be a healthy balance.

When we lose balance in our lives, we trigger stress.

As ambitious women trying to get it in 2017, we’re conditioned to think we must be working 24/7 or we don’t really want it, and if we don’t “want it” everyone else will pass us by in life. Obviously, since they’re already doing that per social media. But have you ever considered the things that are passing you by while you devote every second of the day to work? Other things matter, too. There are parts of your life – moments and people – that are important and you don’t want them to pass you by either.

This week we’re focusing on stress management. One of the best ways to relieve stress is to be in the moment, and when the moment calls for it, be LESS productive. That means being open to experiencing something you think doesn’t offer you an immediate ROI for your time. Sounds super transactional, but that’s how we’re approaching life when we can’t peel ourselves away from work to appreciate the precious, little things.

You’ll be surprised how much you actually do get in return.